There’s nothing exceptional here, besides the usual T-Men being T-Men, and the T-Moderators locking the T-Thread because somebody said something that might lead to real discussion.
Here we have a prime example of someone that doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about. And yet, due to the magic of Internet media, he’s given a voice.
The only good news here is that even the YouTubers largely realize this is bad gumbo, given the one-star rating and judging by the comments.
So T-Mag finally released their Ultimate Super Mega Peri-Workout Protocol based on the ANACONDA!!!!! supplement they’ve been hyping since about 2006.
When you’re talking about ANACONDA!!! you have to preserve a few rules. Firstly, YOU HAVE TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS AND USE THE BIGGEST BOLD-FACE FONT YOU HAVE AVAILABLE!!!! EVERY SENTENCE MUST END WITH EXCESSIVE PUNCTUATION!!!!
To be a bit more serious, if you actually sit down and read the labels on all the overpriced crap they’re hocking, you find (or at least deduce) a few interesting things.
It’s started already. Every year, The Holiday Season seems to creep back earlier and earlier. When I left the US, you could see Christmas ads starting in October. Halloween be damned! Thanksgiving gets some kind of individual respect, though you can tell that it too is being assimilated into this vague “holiday season” that seems to last about four months.
I don’t mind the holiday spirit. I do hate how it’s become so commercialized that the entirety of Q4 is given over to a continuous spree of BUY! messages. Halloween seems to kick it off, and it doesn’t really quit until New Year’s Day. Then everybody wakes up on January 1st with a hangover and a new stack of credit card bills.
I’m sitting around minding my own business today when I come across another guy hawking the newest most magicalest program ever that will fix all your problems and make you a champion and pay off your credit card bills.
I watch the guy’s video on YouTube, and there are some glaring mistakes in his representation of the science. So I chimed in on the comments, pointing this out to him.
Normally I don’t really address diet and nutrition related stuff. It’s really outside my scope of interest, but rarely there comes a perfect storm of stupid and publicity that gets my attention and makes me want to rant a little.
This is one of those occasions. I came across this article posted on a forum I read, and man does it deserve a thrashin’.
The first thing you’ll notice is that it’s a departure from the standard low-carb craze that’s making the rounds. This is different, actually encouraging people to eat carbs. And really, that is a breath of fresh air what with Gary Taubes’ book making the rounds.
A lot of the low-carb nuts really have no understanding of basic thermodynamics, let alone the relevant physiology, which is why they adhere to their simplistic ideas about insulin (and thus CHO intake) being solely responsible for obesity. Yeah, no.
This isn’t really a structured post; I just want to lay out a quick bullet point list.
The first law of thermodynamics says that energy cannot be created or destroyed; inside a closed system, it can only change form. The second law of thermodynamics says that entropy will always increase inside a closed system. You’re always sliding down a hill towards chaos. These rules are not flexible based on any observation that has ever been made.
Chemical reactions, even the very complex ones inside our bodies, are not exempt from this. The body is a closed system; energy that comes in will have to equal energy output. Otherwise, one (or both) of the thermodynamic laws will be violated.
The body, by virtue of being a giant chemical reaction, can operate outside of thermodynamic equilibrium (calories in = calories out), by using various enzymes. However, this is not what it might seem: it’s called storing energy as fat. The energy doesn’t go away; it’s stored. This isn’t a violation of thermodynamics – it’s just creative accounting.
If they were exempt, we’d have a way of creating limitless power. Since the world is still in an energy crisis, we can pretty safely assume that this is not the case.
Your body requires nutrients for various functions and activities. Nutrients also deliver energy to the body. The fact that your body can still require protein, fat, various minerals and vitamins, has no bearing on the energy that they’re providing. Protein and essential fat requirements are entirely separate from the energy that nutrients provide.
When dealing with “low carb magic”, we have two choices:
1. Low carb/high protein diets actually violate the laws of thermodynamics, by destroying energy and by decreasing entropy (disorder) in a closed system, which would be a major revolution in physics and something never observed before; or
2. Low carb/high protein diets are being dishonestly described as “violating thermodynamics” when (if you actually compare the total energy brought into a system and total energy (including waste heat) that is used up by the system) all they’re doing is increasing the waste of energy by the body. If you control for both protein intake and total calorie intake, you won’t see any differences in results.
Occam’s razor suggests that option two is the most likely, considering we have no reason to believe that thermodynamics is invalid – and those observations can be explained by other more reasonable conclusions.
So I’m minding my own business today when I notice I’ve got a new message over on YouTube. I see that it’s from a guy I knew a few years ago.
It’s then that I was hit with my first Bro-down of 2009.
Apparently he’s now a CrossFit fan(atic) and was being nice enough to inform me that I was “uneducated” about CrossFit. This was based on a handful of tongue-in-cheek comments I’d made a few weeks ago regarding this video. Continue »
Apparently Warp Speed Fat Loss, a new-ish product by Alwyn Cosgrove and Mike Roussell, shall we say liberally borrows from Lyle’s 2003 book The Ultimate Diet 2.0. By “liberally borrows from”, I mean “copied nearly word for word”.
I’m not gonna comment any further, cause Lyle sums up most of it, but wow. That’s all I can say.
And yet, I’m sure there will be plenty of people writing this off or “giving them the benefit of the doubt” even now. Why? Because they’re big names?
How far does it have to go before you (meaning we) have enough of blatant, outright theft? This is the equivalent of a 4th grader stealing another kid’s book report, and it has about the same quality.
Yet we gladly support these people, give them money, and hold them in high regard. That speaks volumes, to me.
Are you frustrated? Confused? Does your workout need a new kick?
That was me, two years ago.
I was in a rut.
But then I discovered powerful new secrets that changed my physique, packing on slabs of raw muscle and melting the fat off like butter in a lobster dinner!
Interested? You bet you are! READ ON!
The problem with my training program, and yours, is that it limits you to only the three dimensions of space.
Sure, you move in the fourth dimension, time, by default…..BUT SO DOES YOUR COMPETITION!
Do you want to be left behind, stuck to move in just three dimensions of space while adrift in the flow of time?
OF COURSE YOU DON’T!
Friends, this is what I’m offering you. Not three dimensions of space. Not the simple flow of time.
What I’m offering you is a revolutionary new workout plan that has you moving through FIVE, count ‘em, FIVE DIMENSIONS!
Listen, I know you’re serious about fitness.
I spent the last 10 years fighting the soul-priests of the Void Empire on Klintax 5. My blood, sweat, and tears cover a lifetime of misery, and it’s only a matter of time before the Void Empire locates Earth to eradicate us all.
But until then, I’m letting you in on the secrets of the Void Empire — how to exploit the mysterious 5th Dimension to improve your body!
While the decades spent in the mines of those mind-warping alien overlords was a horror I can never mention, I’m willing to share the secrets with you for a paltry $59.99
BUT ONLY FOR THE NEXT 10 MINUTES!
I can only promise that price for the next 10 minutes. If you’re not on the fast-track, expect to be left behind!
See what others are saying about 5-Dimensional Training:
“5-Dimensional Training is the most valuable business resource we have EVER purchased. We’re loving it. I use 5-Dimensional Training often.”
–Fran Ward
“5-Dimensional Training saved my business. Best investment I’ve made this year. I like 5-Dimensional Training more and more each day because it makes my life a lot easier.”
–Mary Miller
“I highly endorse it. If you ever have any stubborn people like me, have them call me. Awesome!”
–Mike Jones
“I use 5-Dimensional Training often. Dude, your stuff is the bomb! Thank You!”
–Pam Perry
I don’t think it gets any clearer than this, folks. IF YOU WANT RESULTS, THEN 5-DIMENSIONAL TRAINING IS WHAT YOU NEED!
Not convinced yet? Here’s what 5-D Training can do for you:
* Free yourself from the limits of space-time as modern physics understands it. Three planes of movement? That’s why most programs fail. You’ll have FIVE degrees of freedom!
* Powerful increases in metabolism from operating in five dimensions that will literally melt the fat right off your body! *
* Moving a weight against the force of gravity is widely known as an inferior technique. 5-D Training will teach you how to move against resistance provided by the very forces of Creation!
Listen folks…this is the real deal.
If you’re not going to order by now, I don’t know what to tell you. You either value your fitness, or you don’t.
You know what? I shouldn’t do this, but….what the hell!
If you order RIGHT NOW, I’ll throw in “How to Protect Yourself from the Death Rays of the Void Empire” as a special bonus.
This e-book, easily worth hundreds of thousands of dollars, will teach you how to protect yourself from the Void Empire on that fateful day when they come to eradicate our species for trifling with secrets we don’t understand.
Act now and it’s yours, for free!
Sincerely,
Matthew Perryman
P.S. — Don’t forget to ACT NOW for your special bonus!
P.P.S — Tell all your friends!
* Melting the fat off your body may actually occur, as the beings populating the 5th Dimension may occasionally feast upon your flesh.
